Tuesday, June 19, 2018
What is it about love that makes us so stupid?

Image result for love makes us stupid
I believe that love is the single greatest thing that we as human beings get to experience. Studies have shown that all living things require love...ALL LIVING THINGS - which actually means that I talk and show LOVE to my garden and flowers in our home (it also means that Fisherman thinks he married a complete whack job because I do).

Related imageI have been re-reading The Five Love Languages that everyone, literally EVERYONE, recommends. I, like everyone else, have read this and know in my bones that my love language is physical touch.
Physical touch 
To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch. That doesn't mean only in the bedroom — everyday physical connections, like hand-holding, kissing, or any type of re-affirming physical contact is greatly appreciated. A person who speaks the language of physical touch isn't necessarily an over-the-top PDA'er, but getting a little touchy-feely does make them feel safe and loved.

Image result for acts of service love languageI feel SAFE both emotionally and physically.  I experience LOVE through CONTACT.

Fisherman is the type of man whose love language is that of acts of service:
Acts of service
For these people, actions speak louder than words. People who speak the language of service want their partner to recognize that their life is rough and help them out in any way possible. Lending a helping hand shows you really care. People who thrive on this language do not deal well with broken promises — or perceived laziness — and have very little tolerance for people who make more work for them. Basically, if you're not willing to show your appreciation by doing them a favor, you're saying you don't value them.

I know further that his "sub" love language is that of service and knowing that the domestic part of our life is taken care of - meals, laundry, and that we are organized, de-cluttered, and our home is clean.  He says that the latter two are "no big deal", but he walks in peace and is better able to be present and calm when these things are done.

Most of those who know Fisherman and I as a couple, know that we met through and to everyone's surprise (including my own), we are absolutely the right two people for each other.  We are a matched pair. Do we agree on NO.  Does he sometimes make me want to smother him with a YES, NO. Do I frequently require more maintenance than a service NEVER {{eye roll}}. Regardless, he and I just work.

I have been thinking about US recently, and the times where Fisherman and I have felt the most stress in our little marriage and home.  This past year I spent month after month working toward getting my National Board Teaching Certification (details much, much, much later).  Suffice it to say that I spent an enormous amount of time working on this to the neglect of our home and even at times to the neglect of the needs of my husband - which in turn lessens his ability to be my safety net. An epic cycle of continents drifting apart.  It may seem imperceptible to most, but the crack in our planet has left me with a sense of unease - a feeling of emotionally unsafe.
5 Love Languages
My relationship with my beloved husband is the single most important relationship in the entire world. It transcends a parent-child relationship, it transcends sibling relationships, and transcends even my very life. Even now, when I think about my husband, he takes my breath away and my heart beats faster. I realize how fortunate we are - we both know that our LOVE is a gift. It needs cultivation, it needs for us to tend the weeds that crash upon us like thunder, it needs for us to re-dedicate ourselves to each other and to be cognizant that our sense of self comes from the way we love each other.

So, the big SO - so, with this knowledge I vow as I did five years ago and twelve years ago to love, honor and cherish this Fisherman of mine. I vow, that I will renew my commitment to him and find again what it means to be an honorable wife, partner, and LOVE.

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